Just Another Brain Synapse

I dont know if it has become an emotional habit or a quirk, but everytime I feel like I am on the verge of falling into this hormonally-induced thing called love, I watch movies about love and reread "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera. Call it the "educated" way of thinking before plunging in (yeah right), I nevertheless always do jump right in, and end up hitting my head on the floor, as the waters are too shallow. I do love this particular passage from "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" though:

"Love doesnt make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women (and men, hehehe) ) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)"

Sigh.

* * * * *
Re-watched "Hero" by Zhang Yimou and "Amelie". In "Hero" are two warriors and lovers by the name of Flying Snow and Broken Sword. Their love is such that they will not part with each other, not even in death. Talk about devotion!

In "Amelie", a quirky and interesting woman by the name of Amelie (so pretty!) tries to make the people in her life a bit happier, but ends up realizing that she herself needs to find her own happiness.

Both are visually and story-wise beautiful films which I could watch and have watched countless times. Makes me long for my Wong Kar Wai collection. Now those are films about, around and on contemplation of love. :)

So clean-up logistics was quicker than I expected. Either I am getting too goos at my job, or I was just so bored that I did my work twice as fast. I could have flown here on a Saturday, and come back Sunday, sheesh. Of course, since it is "kalag" (Cebuano for ghost, and colloquial term for All Soul's Day), I couldnt get a ticket to Bohol for the 29th till the 2nd of November. Fully-booked.

You see, All Soul's Day in a 99% Catholic-oriented country such as the Philippines is a pretty big deal. Schools don't open, malls shut down, hell everything is closed except morgues, hospitals and churches. Where does everybody go? to the cemetery to pay their respects. On November 1, every Filipino born and raised in the Catholic faith troops to their family graves to fulfill religiously imposed filial obligations. They clean up the graves, paint it and then pray over their dead relatives. Some stay overnight, as if to show their dead ones that they remember them, if only for one day out of each year. And what a gathering! People have been known to bring everything and anything but their houses. TVs for videoke, boomboxes, hammocks, beds, tables, chairs, grills, ovens, you name it. The cemetery usually ends up as one big chaotic and noisy grave party. It got to the point wherein I remember one year the national government issued an order forbidding boomboxes in the cemetery.

Where am I going with this? most people seize this chance to go home to the provinces. Hence, the fully-booked flights.

I guess since I am here for the next four days, might as well show myself to the clan (shudder, gasp for oxygen!), and join our annual cemetery party.

Waiting in the airport for yet another flight to Bohol, I suddenly realized that this semestral break will be my last semestral break as a UP student. Finally realizing that I was going to graduate (yippee!), I began to wax nostalgic about all the other semestral breaks that I have had in the past.

Semestral break will always have that soft lens light quality one has come to associate with long romantic sojourns on a far-away beach replete with swaying palm fronds, soft hammocks, margaritas and cheap beer. Every sem break was different. Take my first, in which I was grateful to fly home after spending four months after the iron rule of my great-aunt (who I lived with at that time, and who forever helped me towards the conclusion that I was better off living alone). The trip marked my return to Bohol after almost three years in the US. Another memory marker for this particular sem break was my short-lived romance with one the guys from my Bohol posse. It had all the elements of young and reckless love. He was the "bad" boy complete with his motorcycle, smoking habit and shock of black hair. I was the childhood friend who morphed into a very dateworthy chick.

The following year's semestral break saw me living independently in my own flat..... and in the hospital. I had joined the UP Mountaineers, and one of their requirements was daily runs. It was finals week. I had no sleep (due to papers, finals and this yummy boy who kept me up, tee hee), and I had to do two 15km runs. I apparently collapsed on my second run, and woke up three days later to a sea of concerned and relieved faces. My friends and mom had taken up vigil beside my bed, willing me to wake up. I discovered that I lost a lot of weight, and that my muscles had shrunk. :( I was so weak that I had to stay in the hospital for another four days just to get enough strength to fly to Bohol. When I finally got there, it was to find two of my bestest, closest friends, Maria and Nicole, waiting for me at home, ready to coddle me to death. Seriously, this sem break marked the only period of my life where I was forbidden to do anything by myself. It got to the point where I was now mirroring Eddie Murphy's character in "Coming to America". He plays an African prince who was not allowed to do anything by himself. He was bathed, he had his teeth brushed by someone else, he even had someone to wipe his ass after he did his number 2.

That was pretty much my situation, except for the ass-wiping part. hehehe.

to be continued.....

its my little sister's birthday today! :) she turns 23. :)

I feel so old now though...

After trying to budget, and rebudget whatever money I receive monthly, I still ended up broke. Everything is becoming so expensive: cabs are now on flag-down rate of 30 pesos ( and they still have the nerve to ask for "dagdag"!!! ). My favorite instant pancit canton is now 7.50 and pedicures have gone up by 5 pesos. Might seem like not much, but when it all adds up....The only thing that seems to stay on level is my salary. How I wish that would go up too. So poor that I couldnt even cough the cash to pay bills, pay utang and go with the flag football chicas on a trip to Icy's island in Zambales. They leave today for some sun and fun. I shouldnt complain though, because I am getting that at Bohol, I guess.

* * * * * *
Chilled with my significant other yesterday and the day before. I am leaving for Bohol (again) this Thursday to do some clean-up logistics, so we thought it best to get as much time as possible together. It was nice to sit around his living room, listen to the Ramones and reggae music, and just talk. Getting to know him is so interesting because I begin to see snippets of life that he has lived, and experiences that shape him to what he is now. So far, I havent found any room for error. So far. And maybe I shouldnt look for flaws....

Is this a flaw though?
- We had another "serious" talk about where we stood. We both came from nasty break-ups (him more so, since his relationship ended due to the ex cheating on him with his friend). Since I am female, I need to hear the words from him that verified that we are a couple Those words came out, but in a much different form. He said we were "together" but that he didnt like labels i.e. bf and gf. I think , open relationship, but then he was like we are not going to date around.... so I am thinking " open relationship that is not". My instincts (which are usually always right) tell me that all he needs is time to realize that not all women cheat, and that our relationship is worth the go. I can tell that he is trying hard, and sometimes when he doesnt catch himself, I can actually see a possessive streak. :)

At least I know where we stand. We are both happy, and taking it day by day. And loving every moment. :)

* * * * *
making love on your rooftop
cold, crisp air as our blanket while
stars look on in quietly brilliant energy
the moon smiles in compliance as we spread heat
into the cold, crisp air
and our energies fly to meet the stars,
meeting and greeting their own energy, not really cold
but hot, as all burning stars do.

One of many reasons why I love reading good books is the lessons that can be learnt. I just finished reading Paulo Coelho’s “Eleven Minutes”, and I was struck by many points he made in that book.

Background info:
For those who dont know, Paulo Coelho is a Brazilian writer who writes neo-transcendentalism/buddhism hidden in pop fiction. Very simple writing, but powerful and practical insights, sometimes makes you want to bop your head and think “Why didnt I realize that?”. He rose into public fame with his book “The Alchemist”. Read him, if only to see his point of view.

That said, back to Eleven Minutes. The book is about a woman, and her search for herself. She goes through a hell of a lot, compromising almost everything, but realizing her “light” and finding her love for self and for others. Very beautiful, and if I may say so, a must-read for females everywhere, as a personal individual booster.

One of the characters in the novel comments on how we as individuals persist in creating problems for ourselves, even if there are no problems. Its as if we are afraid to live life worry-free/problem-free. Problems are our drug, we are addicted to pain and suffering, because to live free, in total happiness is to us, abnormal. We have to feel guilty, we have to feel that we actually are working to deserve whatever happiness we have. That is why most relationships eventually fizzle. Both parties create problems when there are no problems. Its as if they want the other to “prove their love” by solving whatever problem comes up.

Why should we feel guilty about our existence? We were born into this world, right? We were crested by a supreme being from up high using biological instruments like cells and DNA to live this life on earth, right? So why feel guilty about wanting to love someone freely and without restraint? Why feel guilty about taking time out for yourself and just focus on pleasing you? You obviously cant please everyone, why not try to please someone who will for sure be pleased, which is you?

Was reading through my entries and realized that "Oh my bubble toes, it was whining, bitching and drama about my lovelife!" I had unknowningly turned into one of those women who personally open a blog just so they can pour out their emotional waters into a vast lake of unseemingly indifferent blogs. Not that it is bad to do that. I hear its actually good therapy. Just not all the time.

Now I cant promise that I will stop completely, I mean, Hello!, I am in the "honeymoon" stage, the third week. Cut me some slacks, right? hehehehe. (deliberate typo). I can promise though that I will turn it down a hella notch way down under.

After all, I am still a woman who has been desribed as "so passionate, that she is admired for having the courage to follow such passion in whatever area that is focused on, regardless of and because of the costs/repercussions/rewards/adventure."

Listening to Outkast's the Love Below, and memories are flooding in. You see, in classic case scenario, when one drama queen such as myself feels unwanted and inadequatedly loved by her significant other, she employs various emotional triggers so she can wax nostalgic about her past loves. In this case, ex-love Mark.

We listened to Jill Scott and Outkast's the Love Below, and felt that our relationship was set to their music. We couldnt fall asleep or make love without listening to at least one of them. We were so much in love that it was scary to look outside of ourselves to the reality that he was leaving soon, and I couldnt do anything about it. And so we spent what time we had together going to the beach, cooking breakfasts for each other, giving massages, exchanging poetry and inhaling each other's essence. You were always the more impulsive one, and we fed on each other's energies so much that we began to reflect each other. I remember you always went with me to the bathroom at 2 in the morning because you knew I was afraid of the dark (just a little bit). I remember I always tickled your back as we slowly woke up to another new day. I honestly thought that I couldnt possibly be much more in love than I already was.

What happened? You went away, you had your own issues, I had mine....emotions got too high, misunderstandings set in, wounds suddenly opened up and there was no going back.

But as Andre says "I hope that you're the one, if not, you are the prototype."

You were my prototype.

I dont know if I am being paranoid, or because we havent seen each other in a week, but things seem....different. I dont feel the connection....I mean I feel it, but its not that strong anymore.... is it me? Am I becoming bored?!?! God, forbid. I have been known to do that though.... but I felt anxious as I was walking towards his house.... should feeling anxious mean that you are excited to see him, or does it mean that you have no idea where you stand?

Damn it, I should know where I stand....

Maybe its him....

Dropped off Michelle and Michele at the airport today. I hope they had a great time, or as much as I could give them. :) Besides, my attention was now focused on hanging with my sisters and my mum. Now that may sound peachy keen, but my sisters, mom and I are as different as we can be. And that is just the good part.

You see, I have two lovely sisters, and one cool mom. Sister #1 is DR, med student, perfect daughter, straight-A with med student boyfriend. The "responsible" one of the family, she was the answer to my mom's prayers after my mom had "black sheep" me. Sister #2 is Julia.A smaller, prettier version of me, but with half my talent (hehehe) and double the femininity and oodles of men after her (sigh, she takes after me). Actually, she is sooo girly that I was surprised when she suddenly got into flag football, and not so surprised when she broke her wrist on her second game. Mom is a walking perfectionist with matching hair and make-up. She is a one-woman battalion who taught me to rely on myself, albeit with somehat rather harsh lessons. ehe.

Put us in a room together, and things are bound to get interesting. Which did.


Started out innocently enough. We did the girly thing (for julia), pedicures, manicures talking about boys. Watched DVDs, then decided to go the mall to check out Saved. Well, I had already seen Saved, so I told them that I was going to watch Shark's Tale instead. DR says fine, you always go your own way anyway. Julia didnt give a shit. Mom just went emotional blackmail. We went our separate ways, me to the local coffee shop (which had organic corn coffee, yum!), Mom to tennis and DR and Julia to window-shop.

Slowly, the sisters trickled into the shop, and we started talking again. Mom calls after a bit, and we all promised to set aside differences and have a nice dinner of nicee steamed crabs.

Which we did. And now we four are checking email. Goes to show blood is thicker than water..... I think. :) dunno if that applies to this particular situation though.

Haaaayyyy. I absolutely LOVED the crabs though. Am intensely allergic but I ate them anyway, alternately scratching myself and breaking up crab shells to get the white meat inside. hehehehe.

I was about to log off my PC and pay at the counter, when someone put Bob Marley in, and I remembered that today is Wednesday, and reggae at Xaymaca. :) And I started missing Manila, not only because of Ranger, but because:

1.) something is always open in Manila
2.) one feels alive in Manila
3.) music, music, music - all kinds, anywhere
4.) my flag football mates
5.) my housemates ! ! ! ( am missing all the "love in the air" bits na nga eh)
6.) my capoeira mates and capoeira!

I love Bohol though, and am looking forward to chilling with my sisters and my mum tomorrow after dropping off Michelle and Michele at the airport..... my last day of freedom before work kicks me in the gut and leaves me sublevel until the last day of shooting finishes. :)

Tried to keep myself busy and finally did the tourist thing today with Michelle and Michele, took them to see the tarsiers, the chocolate hills and mag-aso falls. Didnt realize how much I knew about Bohol, all this information spilled out of me that even my mom was impressed. :) I am kinda proud though that I knew a lot about bohol. I did grow up here half the time. :)

But keeping your mind busy is just a mere distraction from what it is really thinking about. After all my bullshiting, whining and self-pity, there really is nothing left but my deepfelt sincerity that Ranger does feel deeply for me, and he does not need to text or contact me everyday just so I could assuage my own ego and feel like I matter to someone. I should matter to me, and I should realize his situation also. He, of the shy type, the quiet person who I hung out with for at least three months before I even realized that he liked me..... He, of the silent and brooding eyes, but when he speaks, a gentle rumble of sweet words and heartfelt sounds of deep feelings....

I really should quit being a dramamongering, attention-seeking woman, and focus on when I will see him again, and know that I will survive this.

Only 12 more days though. :)

* * * * *
In other news, heard from the grapevine that TACO BELL is open!!!! Whoo hoo!!! Two things I will definitely do the minute I get back to Manila:

- Run into Ranger's arms
- Go to Taco Bell

aaaaahhhhhh, Love and Food. Two essential things that keep my blood pumping and my life all the more interesting. :)

.... I felt something was missing. Michelle, Michele and I were at Alona chilling under coconut trees, sipping fruit shakes, listening to the gentle play of water against sand against water, when it suddenly hit me. He hasnt texted me in two days. Now before all y'all start gagging and saying "Oh no, Lucy is turning into one of those Pinay chicas who can not survive the day without a million texts from their respectives....", I am not. I am an independent person, and normally I wouldnt mind, and even relish the silence of my cellphone, especially when I am on a fantabulous beach on a unexpected but most welcome break from work.

But it wouldnt hurt to at least say hey at least once a day, right?

I mean, we are just starting out. We are a fledging relationship, and two weeks plus away from each other is trying even to settled couples.

And I really like him. And I hope, he really likes me too.

* * * * *
Since HE didnt send any sign of his existence, I recklessly agreed to let a friend set me up. Now this guy is the total opposite. We havent met yet, as he is in Manila, and I am in Bohol, but this guy texts, calls, texts. Typical Pinoy. Right moves, Wrong man.

I can be such a cold-hearted bitch sometimes.

I still miss HIM though. Terribly.

just got back from the beach , and man, am i tan! :) going to show it off real good when I get back to the dusty, smelly, choked city we call Manila. (Though QC is not that bad). :)

* * * * *
since i am on vacation/work on a beautiful island with fabulous weather and great beaches, I beg pardon from all you people out there who read my blog (really, who???) , if I write less than 20 words. :) just kidding.

QUICK RECAP:
Friday - touchdown Bohol, my mom picks me up from the airport (aaawwww), and takes me to work. Work is a two-week shoot on this beach that rivals even Boracay. In between takes, I get to run into the water all-jack-ass-like, and swim! :) Got a break around 5ish, so i head on over to mi casa and cooked my 'special' brownies for my sister's bday party the next day, and also to settle myself and Michelle and Michelle's accommodations for when they came over next week.
Cooked dinner for me mum, went back to work, got to bed around 3am. Merde! :) me loving it.

Saturday - caught the 7:30 fastboat to Cebu, carrying with me my 'special' brownies for my sister. She was throwing a belated birthday party for her flag football mates, her soccer team mates, her classmates and her gazillion admirers at this funky cafe called Mooon CAfe. Reminds me of sanctum/saguijo back in Manila (sigh, beginning to miss that city). And yes, that is how Mooon is spelled.

Got drunk, got high and got approved by my sis' mates. In a nutshell, "Jules, your sister is cool!" :)

Sunday - hung out all day at my siblings pad (with my two sisters, and my other bro). Lounged aroudn watching chick flicks and played some PS2. :) Julia and I caught the 5:30pm fastboat. Now was that a ride! Apparently Central Visayas was under a low-pressure area, and so lots of winds. We were literally hydroplaning, and some passengers got so sick, they crawled to the back in the hopes of a more stable seat. My sis and I? we just chilled.

- found out that our director just up and left for Manila, wont be back till Friday! whoopppeee!

So my sis and I arrive in Bohol, safe albeit a bit woozy from the ride. Her football mates had already arrived a couple of hours earlier. We invited them over our place, and as all football dudes go, drinking started up pretty quickly. (of course, knowing that I had four days of freedom....).

We are chilling at our backyard, its pretty big and dark, only nightlights, lots of trees. One in particular, was pretty close to where we were sitting. It was a young balete tree, barely into its 2nd year. We were drinking beneath its boughs, when I noticed the crickets going silent. Then something white flashed like twice out of the corner of my left eye. I dismissed it, thinking i was merely high. Then our dog whined, and Julia got up and said, ,there are five of us, i see six shadows. Her two linebackers, two massive guys, jump and scurry like mad to the front lawn. :) Considerably spooked, I followed with the rest, and we ended up drinking on our front lawn and eventually the road. hehehehe.

this promises to be a good week. Got no work till friday, picking up Michelle and Michelle from the airport monday, ,going to hang with Julia's football mates at the beach from monday till thursday - drink, smoke up, play flag, swim, tan. hhhhmmmmm. :)

I just wish Ger was with me, along with Kat, Jay and all his friends. come to think of it, I wish Lette, Maggie and everybody else in my friendship sphere were here with me.

I am sitting at 4:30 am listening to Jason Mraz and waiting for the clock to strike 5:00 so I can get up, get a cab, and get on my way to the airport. I am flying to Bohol today, for both business and pleasure purposes. I cant wait! I havent been to Bohol in a while, and I am itching to turn brown again. Will be staying in Bohol for the next two weeks, so that shouldnt be that hard. :)

* * * * *
Was on the phone with Ranger for the past two hours. He was supposed to come oover, but his friend dropped by, and he couldnt get out of it. Hence, a two-hour telethon which surprised even me, as Ranger normally doesnt do teletalk.

Another surprise para moi. I cant believe I am going to miss him... A LOT. He was
pretty despondent on the phone too, but as mentalk go, no mushy stuff.

Life is balance then. On one hand, I get to spend two weeks in Bohol (albeit with work), and chill at the beach. On the other hand, Ranger wont be with me. :(

My need to categorize things comes out sometimes when I write. Which makes me a living oxymoron, as I have been known to advocate free thought and spontaneity, both proponents of open-mindedness, which is the total opposite of categorizing. But I like making titles though, so sue me. :)

* * * * *
A new beginning for Lucy.

My best friend in Talladega, AL just gave birth to a baby girl. She has curly hair and is a healthy 7 pounds. :) And they named her Lucy! thats the first time anyone has ever named their kid after me, me so touched. :) I hope she doesnt turn out too much like me though, ehehehe. I mean, with all the old wives tales about how your namesake turns out either to be a hundred times worse or better than you, ehe.

* * * * *
A new end too.

Maggie has officially left the Philippines. Her plane just took off like 12 minutes ago. :( I will certainly treasure all the great, bitchy, sad, wierd, funky, outrageous and chill moments and memories I have of her in the three months we got to know each other.

All i am saying is though, beyotch better email me! :) Cant wait to see her this Thanksgiving. We gonna have a good ole' Southern-style Thanksgiving with all the trimmings! Whoohoo! My mouth is watering just thinking about it. (drool, smacking sounds). ;)

* * * * *
Another new beginning.

Seems we are official. Met his girl friends last night. Now, I have been hanging with him and his guy mates. They are cool, and you can win them over as long as you can show them that you can kick back, take a couple of shots of rum, talk your share of sports and adore your guy in front of them.

Girl friends are a little bit trickier, as some of them tend to be possessive about their boy (I should know, I have tons of dude friends myself. I (in current Tagalog slang "hot seat pare, hot seat"), underwent physical, mental and emotional scrutiny, with loaded questions lobbed at me from every direction that even my hair couldnt keep up!

I guess I passed, because his best friend was like "mabait siya, cool pa". Naks. hehehehe.

This is scary though. I am in the final breathe before the plunge into couplehood. I dont know if I my lungs can sustain me. I do know that I am starting to feel the invisible hooks of couplehood, one being "jealousy". Yes, ladies and gents, he was talking on the phone last night, real serious-like, and the little green ball inside me began to whirl and twirl and spin crazy tales like "who is he talking to? why is he so intently into it?"

I do have a reprieve though. I am leaving for Bohol tomorrow,and will be there for at least two weeks.

We shall see then.

I shall miss him terribly though. :( Its been less than eight hours since we parted.

I scare even myself sometimes with the intensity of my feelings.

I've got to hand it to myself. Despite the budding romance that I am so INto, I still find time to hang out with Maggie.

Maggie is this really cool white American chick that I met at UP a couple of months ago. Since I am part of the ICUP, International Club of UP, we handle international students orientation into UP. I met Maggie through there, and we instantly clicked. We agree on so many things, but are cool with other in that we can bitch and complain and still be friends.

I had met another kindred spirit, which is so rare in these times.

And now she is leaving. Tomorrow at 7am. So tonight, we are going to Xaymaca, listen and dance to reggae for the last time, and drink our hearts out. :)

I will see her again though. I am sure of it.

tee hee. 'its been three days of just hanging out, drinking with friends, telling stories, holding hands, giggling like cats and staring into each other's eyes. (sounds of a friend mock-puking in the background). :) Come on, I am sure everyone has gone through the first few weeks of euphoric companionship. :)

I am just so happy right now, i think I could burst.

In the words of my bestest best friend Maria, "What? You Lucy, Shocked? the one and only purveyor of a thousand and one nasty delights? the chica who can proudly call herself a graduate of the Kama Sutra school? Shocked?" :) ehe, you got to love my friends. But yes, I am in shock. Just got back from an amazing night with Ranger.

Who? but what about....? I thought you were digging Shy Guy??

Ranger is this guy I met a while ago (around July), on my weekly Wednesday hang-out, Xaymaca. Really quiet, laid back dude who is cute (had a bit of a crush on him for a bit), and we hung out a few times, strictly friends. :)

That changed last Wednesday. He was his usual Ranger self, but there was something there. I cant explain it, but you know instinctively that something is different, the whole dynamics feels "odd", but in a good way. Maybe because we talked longer than usual? Or maybe because I suddenly realized that he has the nicest eyes ever? Or a really deep and beautifully sonorous voice? ( I did talk about him in previous posts)

Then when we both sat down by the side of the dimsum place a five-minute walk from Xaymaca, I felt it. An almost imperceptible electric pulse running from him to me and back to him. We looked at each other for what seemed a milion millibeats per universe seconds, and then, I laughed. And the moment was gone.

I had a date with Shy Guy the next day though, so I categorized it in the "Maybe-You-Imagined-It" File.

Ranger texts me Saturday. Shy Guy doesnt.

Sunday comes, and Katrina (who happens to be Ranger's housemate), calls to invite me over for barbecue around 4. I show up around 7, since Maggie wanted to watch some dvds at home first.

He cooked dinner for me, and we sat beside each other the entire evening, drinking Boracay mix with his friends, mentally willing each other to please dont be shy my hand is right there, please take it, hold it, press its softness against your own.

He has nice, strong and earthy hands. :)

And yes, I am in shock. But a good shock. I cant wait to see where this goes. :)

Wow. I cant believe I slept so well Friday night. Got home around the decent hour of 4am, tried to watch some movies with Maggie (who was sleeping over), but promptly fell asleep. Woke up well-rested and ready to watch the Young Guns (our brother team!) chew the other football team's ass. :)

* * * * *
Momentous event #1 - they lost. The Young Guns lost. For the first time in three seasons, three years of Philippine flag football. Against the Arrowheads. 32-13. Ouch! I know how it feels to lose, but for the Guns, it was overwhelming.

Maybe they were too confident. And they lost some key players (Rich - at Thailand modelling, Gj - in Chicago) And they didnt train. Ever.

They certainly got their asses chewed, big time.

Momentous event #2 - I didnt feel like going out.
OOOooopppsss! Type that again?!? yes, I didnt feel like going out. I wanted to chill at home, get to know my futon at night, and maybe watch some dvds. Hey, even party animals need to hibernate once in a while. And I was dead broke (though that has never stopped me before).

Momentous event #3 - Ranger texted me. Ranger texted me. :) :) :) Can I do a whirling dervish now???

I gave up on the other guy, lets call him Shy Guy (someone I had a great date with last thursday, but who hasnt texted me since). I managed to text him Friday, using the earthquake as an excuse. Though his texts were amusing, he didnt pursue the text conversation. Can I say shy again?

Momentous event #4 - Hung out with Zaki and Lily and got the ole' "hang-out magic" back. It happened cuz I borrowed dvds from the Indonesians at IC. Zaki and Lily were hanging out at the bench, so I thought to join them. What followed was two hours of just chillin' with my two closest IC buddies. :)

* * * * * *
Not bad for a Saturday. Money spent? nada. Well, except for tricycle and jeepney fare. :)

Manila was hit by another earthquake last night. It measured 6.6 on the Richter's scale. The first earthquake (about three weeks back) barely registered on the social scale, but this one! and where was I?

I was with Melissa, Lette and Maggie inside Pizza Hut, in SM North Edsa (a mall). We were recovering from the riots that sprung out of nowhere during Oktoberfest held at the parking lot outside. We really didnt get hurt, but it was too irritating to watch kids throwing around half-full glasses of beer in the air and starting fights, all just so they could look cool. Sheesh!

Anyways, there we were, chowing down pizza,when my chair starts to move sideways. At first, I thought "dear God, my brain is going through a meltdown! All those drugs!.." but then I look around and I see shocked looks on Melissa and everybody else. Took us another second to realize, that yes the building is moving, and yes, lets get out right now.

Which we did.

* * * * *
Drove to Eastwood, to join up with the IC crew at Ipanema. It was Silvie's despedida party and Marthin's birthday party - in - one. Didnt hang around that much. Ipanema was still Ipanema: same old music, same old crowd. Boring. Besides, exhaustion was catching up, and I wanted to sleep. Said goodbyes to everyone after a bit, and went off.

* * * * *
Little incident while getting a cab. It was raining, and Maggie, Melissa, Lette and I hailed down the first cab we could get. Some idiot with an umbrella comes up and tells us that we cant get a cab there! go to the sign that says "taxis here" (which was like 20 feet away), and get the cabs there.

It was raining! I mean, sure, if the weather was nice and dry, yes , we would take our time walking to the taxi stop (which does not have any roof or any cover to speak off) and wait for a cab there. But it was RAINING.

Some people.

There are times when one realizes why one is truly a UP student.

Friday was hoolabaloola hectic for me. Because I slacked out so much on Tuesday and Wednesday, I had to type like the dickens! to finish ten, yes count that, ten essays in three hours. Plus I had to write a final paper for STS (a pox on whoever created that dang class), minimum 20 pages. Brain, please dont go to overload, I need ya.

I did finish with an hour and a half to spare before deadline (5:00pm). :)

This is what separates us UP students from the others. Dont mean to be intellectually elitist, but when we are under pressure, we deliver, and DO WE DELIVER. The same brain genes that got us into the premier intellectual university in the country (never mind the state of our facilities), are the same genes that enable us to (ehem) slack off, and still deliver prime quality goods. :)

* * * * *
Was mentally and physically (hey, my typing fingers were!) exhausted that when Maggie and Lette dropped by to see if I wanted to check out Oktoberfest at SM EDSA (cheap beer!) , I seriously wanted to turn them down. Besides, I was dead broke. Thoughts of Maggie leaving in a couple of days for Chicago and spending time with her till that time comes, entered my mind though, so I told them to pick me up around 7:30.

Thursday saw me up and about at the crack of dawn (well, around 10:00am at least). Today was the day. I set up my iBook comfortably, and pressed the start button.

It started. The screen lit up. I am so happy! I am so happy! :)

* * * * *
Finally said goodbye to procrastination. Welcome back my iBook. :)

* * * * *
5 papers done. Whoohoo!

* * * * *
On another note, for those who were wondering who I was talking about in an earlier post, (the whole "last night was good"), tee hee, he's a guy. :) and I like him. I really like him. :))

So more on procrastination. Tuesday night was Trent's birthday party, but first I had to check out Erin's opening exhibit at this funky art cafe called Saguijo in Makati. Yuma was also gona dance. :) Got there around 8:30 and hung around a bit, then trotted off to Absinthe, Maggie and Lette in tow.

The exhibit was a success, with Erin and her other fellow exhibitors getting a lot of exposure. Her pieces were particularly interesting, acrylic on ready-made photographs.:)

* * * * *
Wednesday came with me all flopped out on the futon downstairs. Got home around 6:30 in the morning after a Young Gun's party (its Young Guns, 'nuff said). Slept like a baby with a full stomach, and woke up around, hhhmmmm, 12 in the afternoon. Was still hesitant about turning on my iBook, so I bummed around with my other housemates, Erin and Yuma. Literally spent the whole day on my back, lying on the futon and watching Friends episodes.

Had dinner later on with Christine (who just got back from Europe), Paula, Ina and the old ICUP gang. Paula just got back herself from Eastern Europe and Russia. :) I was so eager to listen to their stories and see them and just hang out that I got to Greenbelt 3 an hour early. ehe. Coffee Bean was the meet-up point, and good thing I ran into Melissa, Edel and this other Fulbrighter. Hung out with them till the ICUP gang showed up, and off we went to Banana Leaf (Yum!).

* * * * *
Hearing Chris talk about Europe got me all nostalgic. :) And Paula's descriptions of Russia, particularly St. Petersburg were so interesting and funny that I am putting that city on my list on places to visit. Here is my list so far:

Places to Revisit:
Brazil
Argentina
Paraguay
Nepal
Vietnam
Thailand
Japan
Indonesia

Places to Visit:
Russia
Croatia
New Zealand
Sweden/Norway
China

After dinner, we all headed back to CBTF for coffee. Chris and I broke off from the pack to go to Poma's birthday party at Temple, where the Alliance posse was. :) I miss those dudes, and it was great to meet up with them again. Poma looked hot as usual (and totally out of the closet). Jorel was his usual slinky self with Bf Frank in tow (I swear those two look so good together, :) ). Earl (who usually wears white collared shirts)was wearing a deep red shirt that looked good on him. I asked him why the change of color, and he was like "its Prada baby". hehehehe. Princess was there too, her elegant self smiling and hugging me. :)

Note to self: must hang out with them soon.

* * * * *
wrapped up Wednesday by going to Xaymaca, where i hung out with Irene's friends, and Katrina's posse. Finally got a chance to talk to Ranger. :) Hope that leads somewhere. He didnt ask for my number though. Its alright. He's Filipino, they are shy about that sort of thing, him more than most. And he has SUCH a nice voice. And tall. And a environmental volunteer who climbs mountains. :))

got home around 4:00am. Not bad for a procrastinator.

Wow, cant believe its been four days since i last whined and bitched and ruminated. :) I do have a proper though somewhat scary, reason. Tuesday found me right and ready at coffee bean and tea leaf, greenbelt 3. I just had a really heavy lunch (goodbye diet!) with my bro, and my brain was itching to tackle the task of writing papers in tagalog. When suddenly!

SPLASH! my coffee mug hit the side of my iBook and spilled coffee all over the keyboard! After a millisecond of disbelief and anger at my own clumsiness, I grabbed a million tissues and started dabbing everywhere. Also texted my two brothers to aks for sage advice.

They told me there was only one thing to do. Turn the iBook off, and pray to God that it dries. Wait two days.

Two days without my iBook!?!? that’s like taking the curls from my hair. :((

* * * * *
It did dry though, and now, it smells of coffee.

Gna keep my precious baby away from coffee though, just in case.

* * * * *
Trent’s birthday was also on tuesday night , so that cheered me up a bit. My football crush was going to be there, so I took extra care in dressing up. Major cleavage baby! :)

And what more can I say about a young guns party? Drinking, drinking and more drinking.

*******
The Ill-Fated Love Affair

Because of my unfortunate accident with my baby, I was forced to be on my own for the next two days. Sensing my loneliness, procrastination stopped by and ended spending the next two days.

Procrastination is like an ill-fated love affair with that dangerous guy who is all manly and usually drives a motorcycle.. You know you are going to hurt really really bad, but its so enticing that you go ahead and do it.

So now I am stuck in a quagmire of my own making.

Papers papers papers galore.

* * * **
Last night was great. :) And I love men. I absolutely do. :)

Just got back from hanging out with Zaki. That's right, hanging out with Zaki. Yes, ladies and gents, the universe finally gave way and let me and zaki chill out at Seattle's Best. It was just like old times, except more meaningful because we both knew what it took out from both of use to get to that point. I can honestly say now that we are better friends than ever because of what happened. :)



* * * * * *
Saw another friend that I havent hung out in ages with. It was her thesis defense and she thought I couldnt come because of my trip to cebu. I wish I could record the look on her face when I showed up. :) She was so happy that her presentation was flawless. :) And she passed, with minor revisions. We are talking about an MA here. :)

* * * * * *
Earlier this evening, Maggie and I were headed to Starbucks, where I was going to do papers and where I was going to meet up with Zaki so we could finally hang out. But when we got there, we saw George.

George is this really overbearing white American male who has so much to talk about that he doesnt realize that the people he manages to corner and talk to in actually want to stuff their ears and stay at least five yards away from him. Which is really sad, because sometimes he does have interesting insights. Its just his personality that like a cheese grater, scrapes heavily at your patience.

Maggie was a victim of such a verbal barrage that the minute she saw George she went ballistic, and physically dragged me towards the direction of Seattle's Best, another coffee shop down the road. Since Zaki wasnt around, I let myself go. But we saw two really cute white guys materialize out of nowhere, and we did the whole "did he look back?" , "yes he looked back, lets go follow them!"

(note: we are not stalkers. Just girls who miss looking at all-American white guys)

So we turn around, and who should we see but Zaki, Christine and Hide. So we trooped back to Starbucks. Lette came by though, and needed to do some reasearch, so we ended up at Seattle's Best, sans Zaki and company. Zaki and Christine followed soon enough though. Hence, the whole hanging out bit that I wrote earlier. :)

Happilicious!

* * * * *
SEATTLE's vs STARBUCKS

1.) Ambience - starbucks has cool decor, while Seattle's is too red for my taste. Starbucks - one point
2.) AC - starbucks has really strong AC, which I like, while Seattle's, barely there - another point for the star
3.) Bathrooms - Starbucks has nice bathrooms, big and spacious, Seattles, well lets just say I have to maneuver my ass a bit.
One point to Starbucks
4.) Coffee - Seattle's is better, not as sickly sweet as Starbucks. One point Seattles
5.) Laptops - Seattle's lets u plug in your laptop. Starbucks, nope. - one point Seattles
6.) Food - Seattles has bigger, healthier sandwiches and tasty pasta. Their pastries are not as dried out as Starbucks too.
Another point for Seattles.
7.) People - At last count, Seattle's has a cuter crowd. :) hehehe. Point to Seattles.
8.) Smoking - Seattle's has an outdoor and indoor area for smoking. Though I dont smoke, my friends do. go Seattle's.

Final score - Starbucks - 3 Seattles - 5.

I love Seattles! :) Well, the one along Katipunan anyways.

To the check-in counter. My uncle wanted me to transport some tires for his new truck (which he bought at an extremely low price that even my “kuripot” sensiblities were offended). So I lug two ginormous tires to the counter. The guy at the counter told me that I needed to let the air out of the tires because they might explode during the flight (internal pressure and all that). They called in two guys, one a security guard, the other a janitor to sit on the tires and let the air out. It was hilarious to see two little dudes sitting on top of two huge tires, letting the air out. I couldnt help myself and took a picture with my camera phone. hehehehehe.

It took such a long time though, that I sincerely thought that I was going to miss my flight due to a pair of rubbers that needed to be aired out. hehehehe.


* * * * * *
Earlier today had brunch with the family. I swear the only thing that keeps my weight down is living by myself in Manila, because my family EATS. And they are all tall and thin. Well, athletic. Unfortunately, apparently the gene for fast and efficient metabolism is either dormant or nonexistent in my DNA structure, because the slightest hint of fat in my food, and I blow up like a hot-air balloon. But since I barely cook (the kitchen is always clean on account of that), home-cooked brunches are something to be savored.

I am going to miss my family. They are the only people in this whole wide world who I consider priceless. Not even my bestest, bestest best friend can come close to the connection that I have with my siblings and my mother (well, maybe one or two of my exe’s). I always consider my self lucky that I have such wonderful brothers, sisters and a mother who is soo cool that she doesnt mind me smoking weed ( I think, there was that one time.....).

The shoot didnt push through, owing to the fact that the logistics producer was nowhere to be found, and nobody seemed to want to ask me if I could take over. That was fine as it meant more time for me to hang out with my bros and sis. My mom was flying over from Manila to join us, so it was going to be a definite family thing. We all are so rarely in one country that it is always something special for us to be able to get together. Though a part of me was yearning after all those Oktoberfest events (and FREE beeR!) going on in Manila right now, another was looking forward to hanging with my blood all afternoon and evening. :)

* * * * *
first up, chilling with the youngest, Julia and her flag football team. Yup, ladies and gents, Cebu has a thriving f.f. league. My sis had joined her team, the Wolves around the same time I joined Rogues. She broke her arm playing last week though, so now my mom thinks that I influenced her yet again to imitate me.

* * * * *
Hung out with my bros at the mall as we went around checking out tech shops and slobbering all over the Apple catalog for the G-5. Fun Apple fact: with the G-5, one can upgrade it up to 1 Gig of RAM. ONE GIG! I am melting just thinking about all that memory. Ooohhh. :)

* * * * *
Food trip with my other sis, D.R., the future doctor of our family. Met her newest boyfriend Charles, who seems cool and is third year med school. :) DR is basically everything I am not. Stellar student, perfect Chinita features and the most responsible petite-chica this side of the Philippines. Also awesome dancer, great cook ( though I am by far the better baker), DR can outargue even the Spanish Inquisition.

* * * * *
Finally, family dinner with everyone,where we stuffed ourselves and talked and chatted. With all the shit that our family has been going through for most of this year, it was a relief to kick back, and just talk about what-is-up in our lives. :)
We ended the evening with a trip to Timezone (where I got beat at Air Hockey), and a movie - "Resident Evil: Apocalypse". I am and always will be a gamer/nerd by heart, so please dont sic me too much when I say that the movie rocked. :)

So work was relatively light and quick, and I got the rest of the night off. Texted up some friends who lived in Cebu, and ask them to take me around the nightlife.
We went to three different bars, Halo, Voodoo and Bidix (I think, dont know if I spelled it right).

Except for the decor, and the fact that everyone was speaking Cebuano, I might as well have been in Temple, Absinthe or any other one of the clubs in Greenbelt 3. They played the exact same hip-hop music, had the exact same crowd (all dressed up "hip-hop" style), and even had the exact same prices for beer (A San Mig Light in Absinthe/Temple costs around 65-70, same price in Halo/Voodoo).

I didnt know if I should be irritated or indifferent.

* * * * *
One great thing though.My sisters and bro surprised me by picking me up from the airport. :) Apparently, they "heard" I was coming. Instead of staying at the hotel, I opted to stay at our family's condo. I was so HAPPY and felt so complete seeing them. Didnt realize that I missed them that much. :)

* * * * *
RANDOM OCCURENCE that ALWAYS happens to MOI:

While in Voodoo, some guys from UP-Diliman approached me and asked if I was from UP-Diliman. They had seen my hair and recalled the days when I was but a freshman and rollerblading around campus. Eventually struck up a conversation with them (thank Goodness my best-friend-since-birth, Melanie was there, otherwise I would be cornered), and hit it off with one of the guys. Had early breakfast and conversation, and he asked for my number. ;) Wheeee! Me on a roll! :)

I gets an unusually brief and hurried phone call from one of our resident directors of our company asking me to fly to Cebu ASAP Friday afternoon. Someone just quit, and guess who happened to be available?

I said yes because:

a.) I needed to get away from Manila (its one of my peculiar itches that I need to scratch to distraction as least twice a month)
b.) I needed the money
c.) It was all-expense paid trip

What was kinda sucky was the fact that I was going to miss two parties that my friends were throwing Friday night, not to mention all the Saturday gimmicks that other friends/events planners created for OKtoberfest. But work is work, money sings. And off I went to Cebu on the 7:30pm flight, and will return to Manila 7:30pm Sunday.

I apologize to Jason for missing out on his party ( I heard someone got really drunk! ;) ) and to Frando and Danny for missing out on their friend's despedida.

I can not wait to speak in Bisaya though! :)